Peeta's Struggle
by ElleRae
Summary: Peeta's point of view in the Hunger Games from the bloodbath to the point where Katniss finds him in the mud. Rated M for violence and graphic hallucinations, though I may just be paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

Peeta's Struggle

Peeta's point of view from the blood bath until Katniss finds him in the weeds. I don't own the Hunger Games or most of the characters.

Chapter 1:

The reaping, the training, the interviews: that was all just a prelude to what is soon to come. I stand in the hovercraft alone, leaning against the window watching the wilderness flying past below us, trying not to dwell on the fact that my life, my love and my sanity are all close to an end. _Katniss._ She comes to my thoughts more often then I want to admit. So strong and determined, I know she can win these games. I know that I will do everything in my ability to make it so.

Portia comes into the room with my clothes for the games. She sees me leaning against the window. "Aren't you hungry?" she asks.

I look over at the table. I haven't touched my food, but really I'm just too nervous, worried, and full of other random emotions to eat. "Not really," I reply.

"Here are your clothes to change into," she says as she lays them on the table and leaves.

I go over and pull on the outfit, a green button up shirt, brown pants and a belt, comfortable black leather shoes, and a black jacket, then sit at the table and sip some water, still unable to eat. Portia comes back in and sits across from me. She says nothing which for the moment suits me fine.

Finally the widows turn black, the hovercraft slows, and we arrive at the launching site for the games. Portia escorts me out and I give her a brief hug good-bye. "I won't forget you Peeta," she says, which surprises me, but I have genuinely enjoyed her company as my stylist, something I would have never expected to do. I silently go to the metal disk and prepare for the launch.

I know nothing. What am I going to do? Whatever I do, I'm going to protect Katniss, but now I'm simply at loss.

The disk starts to rise. Darkness, then blinding light. Claudius Templesmith's voice booms over the arena, and then comes the quiet before the storm, 60 seconds to take in our surroundings.

I see a lake to one side, and a forest. Across the way a field full of who knows what, then the cornucopia filled with its array of food, supplies, and glistening weapons, one of them, a bow and a sheath of arrows. _Katniss!_ I find her among the tributes; she's facing the cornucopia, prepared to run straight for them, directly into the careers and the weapons. I cant' let her do it. I try to send her my thoughts: _Don't run there, don't do it!_ She squints at me as I shake my head, and I hear the gong ring.

I don't see where she runs, but I now know I need to get to the weapons myself. I run forward instead away like I was directed. I pick up a small switchblade knife and shove it in my pocket as I bolt toward the cornucopia. Most of the other careers are there when I get to it, already using their deadly weapons to attack the other tributes. I don't make it to the arrows or anything else when I see a boy running at me with a spear. It's the boy from District 4.

I don't run away, but instead as he approaches I dodge him then knock him to the ground with my arm. I jump on top of him and he releases his grip from the spear. We begin to wrestle, he elbows me off of him and tries to pin me to the ground, but I knock his head back. We wrestle for a while like this, and I realize with surprise that we are nearly equally matched. Finally I manage to get him into a headlock, and then he bites my arm.

This isn't just another wrestling match. This is the Hunger Games, there are no rules. I reach into my pocket and grab the switchblade. I'm back at him again, this time I'm armed. Not that I want to kill him, but this boy is now directly in my way of letting me accomplish what I desire. I aim to jab the knife into his shoulder, but am instead cut in the arm—he has a knife too. The cut is not deep, but it's enough to make me pull away in pain. As I do, I get punched in the jaw.

He's scrambling to his feet as I kneel there trying to recover from the shock of it all, he swings his knife, and I manage to duck the blow, swinging my knife at his legs. It grazes his legs, enough to distract him while I get to my feet, but not enough to do any damage. We both stand there for a moment, taking in our enemy. He is the same size as me, broad shouldered and muscular, we are an equal match. But I look at his cruel gaze and the knife in his hand. He has come here to kill.

He comes at me again, but I don't hesitate. I grab his wrist with the knife, and try to pin it over his head. Strangely he does the exact same thing. We're standing face to face, neither able to move with our arms above our heads and ignoring the other fighting going on around us. His hazel eyes stare hard at me. He tries to stare me down, and then unexpectedly he knees me. Pain! I'm on the ground again; fortunately the switchblade is still in my hand. I have no time to recover when he's on top of me, pushing my head into the dirt. I jab my elbow into his gut, but he has me around the neck. He makes a loud grunt and I feel spit on the back of my neck as his grip instantly loosens. With one more burst of energy I throw him off of me with amazing ease and pin him on the ground. Then I realize, it wasn't saliva I felt on my neck, it was blood. Quickly I look up to see who the knife in his side came from, and I see the girl from District 2 just as she throws another.

She's dangerous this girl, but if I can get close enough I know I can overpower her physically. I grab the spear that lies near me, the one the District 4 boy dropped when I pushed him to the ground. The girl throws another knife, and I barley dodge it as it glances my ear. With all my strength I throw the spear at her. She dodges it, though I know it wouldn't have done much harm even if it hit her, but at least it distracts her enough for me to get to her and wrestle her to the ground. I'm on top of her, pinning her hands above her head, but at loss of what to do next, when I feel myself being pushed off her.

"Get him Cato," I hear the girl yell. It happens so fast, I'm pinned face down by the massive boy from District 2, him sitting on top of me and a sword threatening my head. Suddenly I know what I can do. I know how I can save Katniss.

"Wait!" I shout, "I know her secret!" I had seen the boys glowering face during her interview, the way he looked at her, I just knew that he was out to get her. Perhaps I can use her as a weapon against him, rather that him using her against me.

I know he understands what I'm saying when he flips me over and sits on me, holding the knife dangerously close to my neck. "What do you mean? What's her secret?!" he snarls at me.

"I know how she got that 11, I know her weapon."

He eyes me, his sword making a thin slit in my neck. "So what's her weapon?!" he demands.

"She doesn't have it yet. I'll be able to tell you when the information becomes useful."

I see that he knows what I mean. It's obvious to him to that I know he'll try to kill me the instant the information is known, but he seems to ponder if I actually will be of use. He slams my head down again. "I though you said you loved her!" he says accusingly.

"Well sometimes you have to say things for the games, and other times you have to put any feelings aside for the games." I see the girl wince a bit at my words. I'm gambling with my life now. Words are all I have now between life and death. I just hope this works. Cato eyes me suspiciously, then gets off me and pushes me up, spear at my chest.

"If you can be with us, prove it!" He starts poking me with his spear, leading me somewhere. "Come with me Clove," he says to the girl. I look around. Several tributes are lying around the cornucopia, bloodied and dead or dying. I see the District 1 girl with the bow and arrows, trying to shoot after someone limping into the woods. She's not pursuing him though and she turns back to check bodies. The two other Careers, the boy from 1 and the girl from 4, seem to be fighting their own battles with unmatched wounded tributes.

Cato and Clove lead me to a body of a tribute. I look down. No, not a body. She's still alive. I'm not sure, but I think she's from District 7. She's groaning. "Kill her!" says Cato. "Prove you can be one of us!" He tosses me a spear. I catch it and look at her.

Strange that they would have me do this. I look at the girls eyes. They're pleading, but not for life, for death. I need to do this, if only to let this girl out of her misery. I lift the spear and slam it in the middle of her chest. She's dead. That's one for me I suppose.

Look at Clove and Cato. Clove is running the blade of a knife over her mouth, and Cato is still pointing his spear at me, but I seem to have satisfied them for now. "Check for supplies!" demands Cato, and I do.

The fighting surly is almost over. District 1 are piling supplies, and the girl from 4 is hitting already wounded tributes with a spiky mace. Then she finishes and walks near the cornucopia. We all do, the five Careers and me. We look each other over, people eyeing me suspiciously, and Cato's spear aimed directly at my neck, but everyone seems satisfied enough as the first cannon shot it heard.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

10 more follow. "11 dead," says Clove, "just 12 more to go." She eyes us, smirking slightly. It seems odd she would mention this to the people that are her allies for the moment, but surprisingly the others smirk to. I try to do the same.

Together we pile the remaining supplies by the river. Hovercrafts come and take the bodies away and we start repairing our wounds. There's first aid kits and medicine. I apply some medicine to the gash on my arm and neck, and then bandage my arm. The other careers are repairing their own wounds too.. I use my switchblade to hack the ropes and packaging off some of the bigger supplies. The most of the Careers seem satisfied that I am one of them. Clove still eyes me suspiciously, rubbing the blade of a knife to her lips, but she lets me continue.

We set up camp. I gather some brush to start a fire, and then we eat a meal from the supplies.

"We need to start hunting," demands Cato as we eat.

"What about our supplies?" asks Glimmer, the girl from District 1, "shouldn't someone guard them?"

"You can," says Clove, "we need to start taking out the other tributes as soon as possible."

I sit there eating and saying nothing. I'll be going on the hunt at all costs. Maybe I can find a way to lead them away from Katniss.

The fire runs low, and I go out for more brush. I look in the woods. "Katniss," I whisper, "I'll try to keep them from you." I know she can't hear me, but the sponsors can and hopefully they'll realize I'm not doing this for myself but for her. Maybe it will help her out.

I get back to the camp, my arms loaded with brush. By this time though, everyone is checking their supplies, grabbing weapons and getting ready to hunt. Glimmer agreed to stay behind.

"So Lover Boy," Clove is looking at me, I guess I've earned a nickname, "where would your girlfriend be hiding?"

I grab myself a spear, and put the switchblade back in my pocket. "In the woods," is all I say. It's not a lie, but I don't think this information can harm her.

We start in a group, marching toward the woods. We have some supplies on our backs: water, a snack, and extra clothes for warmth. I grab a flashlight too. Marvel, the boy from District 1, has a torch on hand. He lights it as we get deep in the woods. It's very dark. Clove and Cato seem to be the leaders of this bunch. Not surprising with Cato's size, and Clove's demanding personality.

We march on for several hours. Few words are exchanged. We only stop briefly for a sip of water and a brief snack, then continue, pursuing the other tributes.

"Damn it, where is everyone?!" Frustrated Clove turns to us. "This arena is too fucking big!"

It's true. We've been walking for hours and no sign of any of the other tributes. This may very well be the biggest arena I've ever witnessed in the Hunger Games; then again it's the only one I've actually been in.

Then we see it: a glowing light ahead. Some tribute has built a fire. It's not Katniss I assure myself, or if it is she would have left it by now. We run at the fire. There's a small girl sleeping there. I don't know what District she's from, but the Careers are on her instantly.

She wakes up. Her arms are being help behind her by Eva, the girl from District four and Marvel and Cato are both pointing spears at her. "No," she cries, "Please, not now! I'll do anything!"

Unrelenting, Marvel thrusts the spear toward her chest. She screams then falls to the ground. "Twelve down, eleven to go," says Clove. The other's laugh conspiringly.

Cato looks at me and I lay down my own spear and take out the switchblade, to check her for supplies. "Nothing good," says Cato, looming over me, "better clear out so they can get the body before it starts stinking." I'm shaky from this quick, but brutal kill. The Careers are ruthless. We hurry on.

Suddenly, Clove stops under a tree. "Did you hear a cannon?" she asks, "why didn't it go off?"

"She's gotta be dead, I stuck her myself," Marvel says.

They start arguing about how well she was stabbed, and if she'll actually die or not. Annoyed by this pointless disagreement, or perhaps just trying to prove I'm one of them, I stop their argument. "We're wasting time!" I say, "I'll go back and finish her off so we can continue."

"Go on then Lover Boy," sneers Cato, "see for yourself."

I turn around, using my flashlight for guidance. The Careers stand there in a bunch with their torches and other flashlights while I make my way back to the girl. I can see she definitely is still alive, her chest rattling as it rises and falls. No, this girl would never make it anyway. My spear goes up, and I stab her heart. That's two for me.

The tight bunch of the Careers breaks as I approach. "Was she dead?" Cato asks.

"No, but she is now." The cannon boom confirms my reply. "Ready to move on?"

They are. We continue on, marching all night with no more kills. We reach the camp where Glimmer is just as morning lights the sky. Eva says she'll guard as the rest of us sleep. I'm exhausted. I haven't slept since I've gotten in the arena. I fall asleep with the rest of the careers. None of us bother with tents or sleeping bags, as the air has gotten pretty warm. I fall asleep almost immediately.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

I'm awakened by shouting.

"Get up!"

"Get him!"

Marvel tosses me my spear. _What?_ I think. I see who their after as Cato hurls one spear to the boy near the Cornucopia. _What's he doing?_

Cato is on him, demanding an explanation, spear ready to kill. They boy is pleading.

"The bombs!" he says, "I can reactivate them, protect your supplies!"

"What bombs?" demands Cato.

"The ones near the tribute plates."

Eva pokes around. Apparently he has already dug up the bombs that destroy the tributes who step off their metal disks too early. They deactivate themselves after the minute is up. "Are they activated yet?" asks Eva.

"No," he says, "but I can do it."

Cato pushes him up and lets him over to the ones he dug up.

"Wait, Cato!" It's Clove. "How do we know he's not going to throw them at us?"

It's true. This boy could be dangerous if he really knows what he's doing. "Lover Boy, over here!" She makes me sit by him and threaten him with a spear as he shakily starts to rewire the bombs. It's clear what Clove's idea was. I'm watching over his work, obviously the most disposable of these people if a bomb accidentally goes off. The rest of them are circled around, evenly spaced, aiming their weapons toward us in case he has the nerve to try to throw a bomb.

The boy works fast. He obviously knows what he's doing, but it's also obvious that this wasn't his original plan. He digs up the rest of the bombs, rewires them, then he and I bury them around our pile of supplies, carefully leaving a path to follow, the other five Careers wielding weapons: spears, swords, a mace, and Glimmer with the bow and arrows, prepared to attack if anything goes wrong.

The work takes all afternoon, but finally he finishes and the Careers lower their weapons. We eat, the District 3 boy gets a share of the food to, and then Cato demands that we start immediately in on the hunting. This time the district 3 boy is left to guard the supplies.

We're just starting into the woods when Cato comes up to me. "What's her weapon?" he demands.

"She doesn't have it yet," I say, "and really she's not going to get her hands on it anyway, at least not any time soon."

Cato faces me, hand on his sword. "Remind me why you're here again!"

"I know you need me. You need me to lead you to her."

"So where is she?" demands Clove. She's standing behind me, doing the thing with her knife blade, running it over her lips.

"She won't be deep in the woods," I say, though I know for a fact she'd be as far away from the Career's camp as possible. "She'll be somewhere close, trying to watch us and get her weapon."

This seems to satisfy them. We skirt the woods near the camp, checking trees and the ground for signs. To my relief and the Careers frustration, we find nothing all night.

"What now?" Clove looks at me

"She's hiding too well," I say in mock frustration. "We better go deeper in. I head the direction opposite of the stream, figuring that Katniss would be going straight to that as our instructions were to find water. We go deeper; somehow it's just me, Clove, and Eva. _At least I can wrestle them if I need to,_ I think, as they are smaller then me, though Clove is wielding her array of dangerous knives, and I know Eva can swing and throw that mace to hit anyone. We find nobody. Morning is starting to come, and Clove starts shrieking commands to me threatening me with a knife. I hold up my own spear, but we arrive at a stalemate, somehow deciding the alliance with the Careers isn't over yet.

All three of us trudge back to the career camp. Cato is angry; he obviously doesn't like coming to camp empty handed, and Marvel and Glimmer are just organizing weapons, figuring out who gets what. The District 3 boy is huddled in a ball, obviously trying not to provoke anyone.

"Get some sleep, Clove!" I shout as we get back to camp. I'm tired of dealing with her, or any of the careers for that matter, though I feel as if I'm starting to act like one. Everyone's tired, so I volunteer to keep guard. They crawl into a tent to sleep, though I'm certain that it will get hot enough today that they'll be sleeping outside in an hour or so.

After 15 minutes or so I go over to the boy from District 3. He's sitting watching the supplies. "Your plan failed, huh?"

He glances at me, as if scared of me. "Yes," he says, "but at least I have food. For now, anyway." He looks down, seemingly unsure why I'm talking to him, as I probably seem like just any old Career at this point. But I do want to talk to him. I want to talk to someone who isn't bound and determined to kill me at some point. "Why are you here?" he asks me.

"Katniss," I whisper. I don't want the other careers to hear, but I want to tell someone. He looks at me. He knows who I'm talking about, even if he didn't know her name before. "My plan hasn't failed yet," I tell him out loud. He nods, and I get up and circle the camp.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

The evening comes. This time Cato and Clove don't listen to me. We prepare our weapons, I grab a spear and Clove arranges the array of knives that now line her jacket. Again the District 3 boy is left to guard. He doesn't object. There's nothing more for him to do anyway. And for the third time, we head in the woods, hunting for the remaining tributes, anxious for some action as nobody has died in more than 24 hours. The anthem starts playing just as we start into the woods. No pictures. No action. We wander deep into the woods. I worry about finding Katniss. All night we go, straight into the woods, not turning around for anything.

"We've been going all night" Glimmer says. Cato ignores her, still going straight. He wants to get to the end of the arena. We continue until…

Flames! They start suddenly. Glimmer starts running in the opposite direction. My shirt ignites, but I immediately roll until I'm no longer on fire and run following Glimmer. The smoke and the wall of fire are obviously an attempt to bring people closer together, to make us confront each other. I run with the rest of the careers opposite. Marvel and Cato catch fire, but put it out before it does any real damage. Glimmer is the fastest, her long legs allow her to run far ahead of the rest of us.

The smoke is thick too, I cough and hack. I just want to get away. I hope Katniss didn't get captured in the fire, but usually this kind of thing isn't killing us, but rather driving us closer together. We finally get to a place where the fire doesn't reach us. I look around. All the other Careers are still there.

Coughing and burning we make it back to camp. I drink lots of water which soothes my throat, and the others do too. We eat a meal of apples and dried food.

The District 3 boy is there. He looks at us in awe, though he is completely unharmed. This time it's Eva who volunteers to guard us as the rest of us sleep.

I'm exhausted. I didn't sleep much the day before because I had taken the first watch. Now I sleep. I wake up hacking. Its midday and I drink more water. Not everyone is asleep. The whole day is restless, but Cato still insists that we go hunting late that afternoon, though everyone slept poorly all day. We arrange our weapons once again head out to hunt.

We march into the woods, exhausted, but Cato and Clove are convinced we'll find people to kill tonight claiming that the fire will have moved more tributes into our reach. Our weapons are ready and we use all our senses to track down the five tributes that are hidden from us in the woods.

I don't know who sees her first, but Eva and Clove start spreading out and running, then I see that someone is ahead, drowsing in a pool. "Spread out and surround her!" commands Clove, and we all do just that. I run, trying to see who it is, and then to my horror, I see a small strong girl, with that dark braid as she dashes deep into the woods. My heart sinks. It's Katniss.

The other Careers are laughing and shouting.

"Get her!"

"We've got her surrounded!"

"She can't get away!"

I fear for her life, but now I feel powerless to protect her. My only consolation is she scrambles up a tree.

We're all around the tree now, all six of us. The five Careers are grinning, and maniacally laughing to themselves. "We got her now" says Eva, and Cato seems to be relishing his sword as he stares grinning up the tree. I laugh too, but inside I feel like screaming.

"How's everything with you" I hear. Katniss! I'm surprised as anyone as I glance up the tree at her. What's she doing yelling down at us?

"Well enough," answers Cato, "yourself?"

"It's a bit warm for my taste;" she yells back, "the air's better up here. Why don't you come up?" Is Katniss actually mocking us? The thought almost makes me smile until I remember she's unarmed.

"I think I will," says Cato. I can't watch this.

"Here, take this Cato." Glimmer offers him the bow and arrows; Katniss's arrows, now in incompetent hands.

"No, I'll do better with my sword."

I want to glare a hole right through them. Instead I look away, trying to hide my face so that can't see the anger and frustration building up inside me. But it nearly doesn't matter if they see me. If Katniss is killed, there will be no point in staying with the Careers anymore.

I don't watch, but I hear Cato climb, then fall. He lands on the ground, dangerously close to me. He bumps me roughly, swearing as he gets to his feet. I dare to glance up. Katniss is high in the tree. I can barely see her.

"Let me try, I'm lighter," says Glimmer.

"Yeah, get her Glimmer," the other Careers nod in agreement, laughing again.

She starts up the tree. I don't watch, but after a while I hear some breaking branches and she jumps out of the tree.

"She's too high up," Glimmer reports to us, "now what?

"Shit!" Cato swears, and Clove starts hacking bark from the tree with a knife, muttering under her breath.

"What are we going to do? It's getting to dark."

The five of them stand in a group, annoyed and out of ideas, grumbling to themselves.

Exasperated and worried I raise my voice harshly, "Oh let her stay up there. It's not like she's going anywhere. We'll deal with her in the morning."

They all nod in agreement, except for Cato. He glares at me, furious he didn't catch her and possibly thinking of a way to blame me, but like everyone else, he's tired.

The anthem starts, and we watch the sky, knowing there will be no deaths, but still staring intently at the Capitol seal above us. When it finishes we make a camp for the night below the tree Katniss is now residing in.

I volunteer to keep watch first, but Eva volunteers to and the other Careers choose her. As everyone else falls asleep though, I stay awake watching Eva, as she stands under the tree wielding her deadly mace and staring up it. Will Katniss be asleep up there? It seems frightening to sleep in a tree, but I guess her resourcefulness and ability to adapt is one reason I like her so much. But it's more than just admire her now. I love her, in a completely unrequited way.

I want to protect her, but here there is nothing much I can do other than stay awake and be sure that Eva does nothing to harm her.

Sometime in the night, Eva wakes Glimmer and has her keep watch, but Glimmer quickly falls back to sleep in her guard spot. I get up quietly and circle the tree. There's nothing I can do anymore but hope that Katniss sneaks down the tree and away while the Careers are sleeping. She doesn't though. I slump against the tree on the opposite side of Glimmer. Katniss probably loathes me now. She doesn't realize why I teamed up with the Careers, to keep them from her, to acquire the bow and arrows. I just hope the sponsors and people of District 12 have noticed that I'm not just here for myself so that they sponsor us and give the gifts to Katniss.

Streaky signs of light begin to appear in the sky through the trees. I look up quickly, realizing I dozed off. I look around though, and nothing seems changed, Glimmer is still sleeping on her guard post, and the rest of them nearby, under their sleeping bags. Quietly as I can I make it back to mine.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

After a while I hear some rustling on the trees above me. I don't quite understand, but I turn on my back and look up. Katniss is moving in the tree. I squint as I see her heave something and throw it down. I have no idea what it is, but it lands at Glimmers' feet, and instantly I get up.

Glimmer screams, and I see the bugs swarming out of the nest that Katniss has dropped on us. I've never seen these bugs, but judging from their gold bodies, I know they're tracker jackers: the dangerous Capitol muttations that cause plum size bites and debilitating hallucinations. I feel a sting on my chest, then another one on my side. "To the lake," I scream, and others are screaming too and running with me, hoping the water will keep the tracker jackers from tracking our scent, but not before I get stung at least once more on my neck.

I run as fast as I can, leaving everything behind. Some of the others are with me, but I can tell that some got left behind. I jump in the lake shortly behind Clove and hear two more splashes. _Who made it?_ I think. I don't want to look up; I know the tracker jackers are still pursuing us as I feel yet another painful sting near my knee. I swim down under the water. Though being under scares me, it could be my life saving maneuver.

Five minutes is how long I dare to stay. I stick my head out of the water and look around. Glimmer and Eva aren't here. They must not have made it. Marvel and Clove are still under the water, even the District 3 boy is in the water after seeing us running frantically to the lake, but Cato is struggling to get up. He'll be hunting Katniss, and I have to get there first.

I get up out of the water and grab one of the spears that have been discarded on the shore of the lake, then run into the woods, directly to the tree where Katniss was. A howling wind has started to blow the trees, making them sway dangerously as I race through the underbrush. The trees make grim black shadows and the forest seems to darken. I burst into the clearing below the tree, arm raised and spear ready to throw at whoever may get in my way, but to my shock I see Katniss, struggling with Glimmers bloated body. It's a gruesome sight, Glimmers body melting into the blackness of the ground, and Katniss on top. She has her bow and arrows, but it doesn't matter. Cato will be here any moment, just waiting for the opportunity to kill her.

"What are you still doing here?" I hiss at her. She stares at me, her eyes wide and uncomprehending, but I know I have to get her out of here, and soon! "Are you mad?" I ask, and I prod her with the back of my spear, "Get up! Get up!" She stands. The howling wind is louder now, and trees are falling over into black swirls of the forest, but I know Cato will be much more dangerous, and I start to shove her away. "Run! RUN!" I can hear Cato crashing through the underbrush. I turn to face him, knowing this very well may be the last thing I do.

There's a black whirlwind now, surrounding the clearing with a deafening howl. Cato stands there, his eyes menacing with his sword held out, glaring at me who now stands between him and the one he truly wants to kill. I must stop him! I lunge at him with my spear. Startled he stops spear with his sword, but he drops it. Next he grabs the shaft of my spear with both hands, forcing me to my knees. The ground has started to move in strange directions as if there are giant balls rolling far under the soil. I'm unsteady on my knees as Cato unrelentingly pushes me toward the black ground. I try to push him away, but he breaks the spear shaft in half like it's a stick and I fall backwards onto the rolling ground. He's on top of me, aiming the spear half directly at my head. I shuffle for my switchblade and just manage to retrieve it, and poke his arm. It's not much, but enough for him to pull away.

I start so scramble away from Cato but the ground is moving and I can't keep my balance. I trip over something. One look down and I scream. Glimmers bloated body has turned to a green slime with pieces of flesh disintegrating off her skeleton and melting into the ground. I clamber backwards. My back is against Katniss's tree and look up. To my horror, Cato has turned into a monster. The black whirlwind is behind him, the trees gone, and Cato is twice his normal size with glowing red eyes, skin grey and rough like a stone, and he has his sword again, glowing white hot. His evil red eyes are looking at me and his sword comes down.

I jump to the side, but feel excruciating pain on my left thigh. I'm on the ground, one hand wet with blood as I feel my wound. The ground is still swaying and I can't get up. Then the Cato Monster is on top of me, holding my hair and my head into the ground.

"You played me for a fool," he whispers into my ear, the words in my ear hurt more than my wound, "and now you're going to pay!" He roughly grabs my switchblade away. His weight is off me and he kicks my side. Then he's gone. I force myself to me feet but can barely stand on my bleeding leg and the rolling ground is starting to tip in all directions. I turn around to see shiny talons gripping what's left of Glimmers and take her away. The whirl wind has created a giant hole. I hear screaming and to my horror I look down and see Katniss, burning up in flames and the bottom of the pit.

"Katniss!" I scream, and I try to reach down the hole, but as I do, it seals up, and I'm again on the swaying ground.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Even in my befuddled mind I manage to realize that that image must not be real. Surely the hallucinations have begun. Katniss ran away, and now I must get away too.

I start to run the best I can with my wounded leg. The whirlwind is black and deafening. The underbrush has turned to tentacles that grab at me as I struggle wounded through the forest. As I continue, I hear screaming through the wind. People are trapped in the tangles of the trees, swaying dangerously. I continue to scramble, crawl and run as fast as I can until I make it to the river.

I splash in it; the water is dark and foreboding. I struggle up against the current, but it gets thicker and thicker. Finally I can't move anymore, and I lift my hand and realize in horror that the water has turned to blood. I stop and turn to a sitting position, looking down the river of blood. There are figures, writhing below me. They start calling for me to help them. I scream when I recognize them. I see my father and my oldest brother, calling for help. I see my other brother, and my friends, and even my grandparents looking old and sorrowful, though they both died years ago. They're screaming in agony, and I want to go save them, but as I move toward them, the river of blood thickens. I look down and realize my leg is bleeding the river that traps them. I hear another scream. I look across the river and this time I see Katniss. Only she's drowning in her own pool of blood, and I'm stuck and unable to help.

There's noise now. Music like the Capitol's anthem, only louder and absolutely excruciating. Sounds have never been painful the way this music is. I see images, first of Glimmer, then of Eva, but they're not themselves. They're monsters with pointy teeth and glowing eyes. Finally I see another face. It laughs with the voice of Claudius Templesmith, but the figure is not human. The skin is red like blood and the eyes pure black. The mouth opens to reveal black pointed teeth. This figure is in the sky which is swirling grey and black. I try my hardest to struggle away from the Creature, against the current of the blood river. I end up on pointed black rocks, and my blood is spilling onto them. I try to wipe it away, but images start to appear on the rocks. I want to get away from the images of burning houses, and foreboding dungeons, but I fall over onto a rock, and one of the images captures me.

I'm suddenly in the square of District 12, but it's thick with smoke. All the citizens are in the square like at the reaping. I'm on one end of the stage, and I look at the other and there is Katniss, hands tied above her head. I hear a whip, and she screams as blood spills down her back. The Cato monster is there, wearing a peacekeeper uniform, whipping her. "Katniss!" I scream, and start to run toward her, but am thrown back by a force field. I turn to the crowd. They're coughing and moaning. They're all the people I know from District 12, but their eyes are glazed over with a milky white, and I realize they've all been blinded. I can't get to any of them. The force field surrounds me. I close my eyes then open them. This isn't District 12 at all, it's the Capitol, and all its citizens are out there looking bizarre and laughing as if entertained. Katniss. She's still on the stage bloody from the whipping, but it's not the Cato Monster with her but the Creature of Claudius Templesmith. He grabs her arm and pulls her out of view. I don't know what he's going to do, but I have an idea. I scream and repeatedly run myself against the force field, but it doesn't relent. I step back and aim to run at it one last time.

Boom! Suddenly I'm awake. I'm back in the arena, but it's still twisting with the whirlwind. I struggle down from the rocks, only to be taken in by more nightmares, and hallucinating realities. I see my family and friends tortured, and I see Katniss. Every single time I'm powerless to stop it, trapped by ropes, force fields, or simply unable to move.

Finally I open my eyes, and there is no whirlwind. The trees are still there, standing straight like normal and the ground is still. I feel the river. It's just water, not blood. And finally, there is no dying Katniss, and no tortured loved ones. The world has turned back to reality, though that may be a nightmare itself.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

I look up. It's night time. How long have I been hallucinating? I'm unsure, but it's probably been nearly three days. I can hardly move. I don't know where I am in the arena, but I am by the river, laying face up with my legs on the bank and the water swirling around my head.

I'm shivering. I drag myself out of the water, my left leg extremely painful. I look at it, and vaguely remember being cut by Cato while keeping him away from Katniss. Katniss! Did she make it? I don't really know, but I feel certain she did. Cato had been bitten too, and though he may have tried to go after her, she had a head start.

My mouth feels dry and gross. I take a mouthful of the river water. I know it's untreated but I suppose some water is better than none. I notice some of the plants are these tubers we were told we could eat at training, so even though I'm not hungry I put some in my mouth and chew.

Ten minutes later I start to heave. I struggle to my hands and my one good knee and start to vomit into the weeds. I guess my stomach can't handle food just yet. I rinse my mouth out with water and lean against the rock. I'm dying. The cut on my let is deep and extremely painful. I'm certain I have a fever as I've been shivering all night. I suppose the only thing left for me to do is die.

Morning comes with streaky light. I'll be easily visible to anyone who comes my way now. I don't want to die at the hands of the Careers though, or anyone else either. I figure perhaps the best way for me to die is to simply hide myself in the weeds. I start to paint my arms and face and lay shaking in the weeds.

I simply lie there all day, feeling my fever going up and down. My wound is surely infected, and I just hope I'll die sooner than later. I try to eat a few more roots later in the day, and I throw them up again soon after. No, I'm not hungry, so I just stick to water from then on. Besides, I'll go faster that way anyway.

Late that afternoon I hear some explosions and wonder if it's another Gamemaker trap. I think about Katniss, is she dying in those explosions. After the explosions end, I hear a cannon. Someone else has died. That evening I see the face of the boy from District 3. Something must have happened to the bombs he planted, and surely Katniss'd be smart enough to avoid them. The District 10 boy's face appears too. Sad, sure, but fewer people means Katniss is closer to winning. "Katniss," I whisper her name, hoping that she's still fighting, and will continue until she goes home.

The night is cold, and I shiver from fever. The morning brings warmth, and I doze off, but some more cannon shots wake me. Who died now? I think of drinking some more water, and I struggle out of the weeds. This simple act has gotten far more difficult since yesterday. _Good_, I think, _I'm just that much closer to dying_.

Evening comes again and I see the two faces: first Marvel, then Rue, the little girl from District 11. I feel a pang of sadness. It's amazing that she made it this far, but how terrible that someone so young died when she most likely had little to defend herself. I think of Prim, Katniss's little sister whom she volunteered for, cheerfully giving my father goat cheese, which he always praised her so for. I think of my neighbor's twelve year old boy, and my best friend's sister. Twelve just seems so young for someone to die. How terrible these games are.

There's a flourish of trumpets, surely marking a feast which I'm completely prepared to ignore. I start to doze when I hear a strange announcement. A rule change? It says that two people can survive if from the same district. How strange. I think of what this would mean for me. Will Katniss find me? How close am I to actually dying? I suppose she will, though the efforts may be futile. However, it would be my dying wish just to see her again. I want to hold out until that happens.

As for now, all I can do is wait. The night grows cold, and my fever starts again, and I know this will be a long night, but now I'm determined to live, if only for just a day longer.

It's late morning when I finally see her. Katniss did come for me! She's swarming up the river. I know she's dirty, her hair is messy and her clothes tattered, but she looks more beautiful than I've ever seen her. "Peeta!" she whispers my name.

I smile, then with the little breath I have left I manage to say it, "you here to finish me off, sweetheart?"

That's it! I'm not going to write anymore because we already know what happens next. Please review, any comments (at least constructive comments) are welcomed!


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